your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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