it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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