About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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