these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
