i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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