Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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