So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My bed is full of blood and feathers
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think my moral compass just broke
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
