And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
