jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
