batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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