I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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