Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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