Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
