IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We left the knife in your bed.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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