Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
