and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
