i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
