I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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