And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
