I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
