Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
