Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I queefed so loud it echoed.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
