Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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