I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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