You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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