When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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