Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
