i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So here I am, sexting at work.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
