Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
