Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
