Already got asked if we're dating
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
