i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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