I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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