Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
