Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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