Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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