i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
