We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
