playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
