I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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