I wish I only lived at night.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
