There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
