Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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