$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We just shotgunned beers for America
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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