My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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