he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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