Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
