i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
