If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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