You really coming over, don't trick.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
